Jun 26, 2010


I find myself in a singularly strange place. The sugar has a bee in his bonnet that I am seeing someone else. I have not. I have told him I have not. I thought the nascent friendship was a done deal but apparently not. It might be a week or 10 days between calls, but he does call. After 10 days, I call him. He always picks up or calls back fairly soon. That's a good thing.

Did I mention I do things backwards. Synopsis. Met him. We spent probably 12 hours on the phone in 5 days. He came over - sparks flew. We saw each other regularly for about 10 weeks. He makes a statement that he is getting too attached so better a small hurt now than a big one later, because he ALWAYS gets burned. I figure it's over. He calls.

I haven't seen him in 6 or 7 weeks, the calls are coming more often again. Conversation is less stilted. Okay. Works for me. If I can go 6 years 6 weeks is no biggy ;)

Missed his call Thursday, called him back Friday. Told him where I was Thurs blah blah blah, we rang off. 20 minutes later he called back? In a fairly accusatory manner he questioned how I could take my grandson to a baseball game in the nasty/rain hail storm and then for ice cream? I calmly corrected him and repeated that I went to the grandson's because he was supposed to have a game and he asked me to go, yes I drive through crazy rain and some hail on Elphinstone to get there, the league had not yet called to cancel the game but that was fairly obvious so I took the grands to the store for ice cream.

He then went on about women being untruthful which is why he lives alone and doesn't want a relationship of any kind. NOTE : HE CALLS ME. An I correct him again to say that PEOPLE lie. Wish they wouldn't but they do and rapped of my list of getting burned by men (2 engagements 2 divorces and misc). Not having a leg to stand on he agrees and the conversation continues.

But now I'm actually angry. Don't get me wrong - I like him and consider him my friend but this is not an invested "relationship" for me. This conversation, some opposite gender attention that makes me feel all womanly, and some really great sex. And it would be great if he thought the same - even though it is what he professes.

So I asked him if he was seeing anyone? No. He asked me and I said no the only man that I've seen since we started visiting is you. But you haven't seen me in awhile he says to me. What so he thinks I'll just run out and find someone else??? stupid man.

My response:I have told you no every time you ask and the point here is that until you decide that you will trust what I say I am aware that you will not believe me. Nor will you believe anyone I know because you have decided in your head that I - like all the other women in your life will burn you too. I am not like that. I do not see two men at the same time, poor form.

And then I told him that I was NOT looking for the relationship, but enjoyed his company and conversation and the great sex. I also told him I had some patience and was willing to wait and see if he could get past his instinct to find reality.

So he changed the subject and about half an hour later said he'd call me tomorrow and we rang off.

I missed his call today as I was at a bbq.

So that's 3 calls in 3 days and the first argument. I'm fair dinkum sure he got the message. The question is how much patience do I want to have here?

If only I had never been in his shoes.

Jun 18, 2010


Live sun warmed mahogany, supple and smooth yet strong and flexible with its years solidly rooted in the here and now. Aubergine rich bitterness until salted raising questions all along the taste buds. Doubled velvet so soft it mimics fur without the sneezing. Melodious tones and belly warming chuckles that ignite a smile from the inside out. Spicy hot aromas floating from the kitchen playing olfactory tug of war with the cinnamon of flesh and murmurs from the deeps.