May 9, 2010

Mom's day

I miss my mom with all my heart. Sometimes I don't think about her for weeks on end I'm sure, and that's okay, she's been gone almost 18 years. But then there are those moments when I get a flash out of the corner of my eye and I am absolutely positive to the center of my being that she just turned a corner down the street.

And there I stand frozen, amid the rush of downtown pedestrians, lost in enough misery it's all I can do to stand there and not sob. An island of emptiness in the flow of everyday life. It fades, what seems like hours was only a minute or two, but damn.

And then there are the occasions like my grandotter's 10th birthday that I really wish she could have celebrated with us. She would have been so proud of the job Amanda is doing and loved Miss Devi to bits.

I was at the park yesterday watching some families of geese with the teeny newborn goslings all fluffy yellow and got a warm fuzzy thinking that mom would have been taking that picture too.

Mom, your image may not be in my brain any longer but your laughter will forever peal in my heart and your compassion is a constant reminder to live doing the least damage.

Love you always.

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