Everyone knows the "dumb blonde" vs "smart brunette" stereotypes right? Well what really sucks is when the stupidheadedness of an unknown dumb blonde (really she is) starts to rub off on what has previously been known to be a relatively "smart" brunette.
The story started with the blonde stating that if you drink your liquor through a straw you get drunk faster. Heh heh - honey if we put two pints on the table and give you a fuckin' 7-11 slurpee straw, my pint will be gone before you've downed two fingers of your pint. With more hooch inside me than outside, I am pretty sure I will get drunk faster.
I know that the great omniscient powered "THEY" spout hundreds of reasons why this is supposedly TRUE, ranging from you suck faster, carbonation causes faster absorption, creates higher heat in the mouth causing more vapours to be created... yada freakin' yada. The point is you get drunk as quickly as your individual blood alcohol levels increase, which is directly affected by the amount of alcohol you consume.
As if I wasn't already starting to get irritated enough, at that point the brunette chirps "I heard it works better if the straw is bent." Really. I'm thinking she's got to be kidding. But she's got that "I'm totally serious" look on her face. And then the blonde perks back up "I read it on the internets, it must be true!"
bang bang.
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